1 Day left

1 day left
Today was a great day. I took the kids one by one and gave them their gifts. The moments were special and I'll treasure them forever. The kids LOVED everything. They thanked me. I held it together. I didn't cry. I got choked up a few times but I told them it wasn't a goodbye gift but an end to the everyday. I told them I'll still see them tons. They seemed to get it. Even the youngest. They expressed knowing that we will see each other often.
My family is taking me out tomorrow mb,db and the kids. They wont tell me where. They said it is a surprise. The kids also said they have a surprise for me. I HAVE no idea what it is. I dont love surprises but, Im rolling with it.
I feel surprisingly ok tonight. I am really happy with the job Ive done. My kids will be ok cause they know I love them. I know they know it. I know they know ill be in their lives. I know they know they can call me anytime. These things make it easier. I feel at peace with it tonight.

Im excited about our dinner and at first I was dreading it. But now i feel like we do deserve to celebrate something wonderful.
A life long friendship and almost 16 years of devotion to them. I have come a long way since just 10 days ago. I am not un realistic. I know that there will be more ups and downs in my feelings but today I feel ok and that is something.! :)