Last Day

Today was it.
The final day of working for my nanny family. I am NOT taking nanny to A, K and M off my signature for I am their forever nanny :)
Tonight was perfect. We went to dinner. My bosses were warned by me no tears or sad talk. I plan on seeing them lots and really my goal was to not loose it in front of those kids. We are nannies.We stay strong for our kids. I wanted them to be ok with the changes.
My bosses gave me a necklace. It is gold with diamonds and the hanging down three gold strand with each kids birth stone. My mom boss said those are our kids stones. I almost lost it then. She started to cry and I stopped her saying "no way dont do it. This is a celebration!"
She gave me a card and told me not to open it till I got home. In keeping with the not sad theme, I gave them a letter I had written and said the same "no opening till you get home."
There was a beautiful note inside that made me cry. M had written Jenn Jenn you are the BEST ever! xoxoxox Love, M That's was priceless. They also gave me a generous bonus. I will write a thank you note and send it to them.
The night was perfect. I didn't want a goodbye dinner but now I am SOOO happy i went. I'm soooo happy we did it. It validated a lot for me. All my years of being there.
I feel at peace tonight. A good friend told me the anticipation is worst. She was so right. We will all be ok because we love each other.
We said that we would see each other a lot. The kids are coming to my fundraiser for the local library Sunday. They are forever"my kids" and I am forever their nanny. :) Thanks to everyone for everything. All the kind words meant so much the last few week. You have all touched me heart.
Jenn

1 Day left

1 day left
Today was a great day. I took the kids one by one and gave them their gifts. The moments were special and I'll treasure them forever. The kids LOVED everything. They thanked me. I held it together. I didn't cry. I got choked up a few times but I told them it wasn't a goodbye gift but an end to the everyday. I told them I'll still see them tons. They seemed to get it. Even the youngest. They expressed knowing that we will see each other often.
My family is taking me out tomorrow mb,db and the kids. They wont tell me where. They said it is a surprise. The kids also said they have a surprise for me. I HAVE no idea what it is. I dont love surprises but, Im rolling with it.
I feel surprisingly ok tonight. I am really happy with the job Ive done. My kids will be ok cause they know I love them. I know they know it. I know they know ill be in their lives. I know they know they can call me anytime. These things make it easier. I feel at peace with it tonight.

Im excited about our dinner and at first I was dreading it. But now i feel like we do deserve to celebrate something wonderful.
A life long friendship and almost 16 years of devotion to them. I have come a long way since just 10 days ago. I am not un realistic. I know that there will be more ups and downs in my feelings but today I feel ok and that is something.! :)

3 Days Left

I have three short days left till the end of my job. I had a great day today. The kids were a bit under the weather so they stayed home. It was actually good becauseI got to spend the whole afternoon with no rushing around with the kids. I really enjoyed that. I am going to come in early Friday and spend more time than I usually do there. That will be a nice thing too.
I am happy that I am taking a long 5 hour car ride with them to their grandparents house. My friend lives in the same town. I also have some dates to see them lined up and that makes life easier.
I think in the summer it will be easy to see them. The Fall will be the hardest when a schedule goes into effect. Im hoping by then I feel better.

Today would have been my bosses baby's 4th birthday. He died at birth. So it made this a day for thinking about other things.
3 days left..
Man...

4 Days to go

4 days to go.. I had a bad day yesterday.
Well last night I was very sad crying and it was a very emotional night. I had a great group of nanny friends that helped me a lot...
It made me feel better. I had a good day today. Work was good and I took M out to dinner.
I started cleaning out my car of all the kids stuff!! I want to make sure they have all their things.
I am feeling ready yet it is hard. I know I'll see them a lot. I can see myself hanging out with them and taking them places and it gives me comfort.
I want to give them their things this week .I am excited about it but worried that it will make me sad. Today I feel ready for this. I don't know how it will be tomorrow it is one of the those things your feelings change day to day.we shall see how it goes the rest of the week.