Glenda Propst reviews the book "All the Time in the World" by Caroline Angell

A few weeks ago I was asked if I would do a book review on a book called
“All the Time in the World” by Caroline Angell

I have never done a book review before but the book looked interesting so I said yes.
It took me a little less than a week to read the book but partially because I have been spending a lot of time with my mom who just moved into a skilled care facility so I don’t have a lot of time to read.

Sometimes when I am reading a book, if it doesn’t grab me from the beginning, I have a hard time making a commitment. I didn’t have a problem with that. It didn’t take me long to really connect with the main character Charlotte who was caring for two little boys named Matthew and George. It was obvious from the start that this writer truly understood the dynamics of a nanny’s role in the family. Only someone with this kind of insight could narrate the scene where the children are picked up and dropped off at pre-school and describe the scenario of the interaction between the stay at home mommies, the cardboard cut-out moms, the moms who treat the caregivers with little respect and the mix of nannies and au pairs. It’s a scene that plays out on a daily basis in pre-schools everywhere.
I know that Charlotte was a nanny who I could have been friends with. We could have been on a Facebook group for nannies together and we would have made a connection because she really understood the ins and outs of working with a family. She projected a professional image and understood her role within the family. She understood that working with a family requires a lot of give and take and that sometimes you have to do things that were not in your job description just because circumstances warrant it.
The reason this is so important is that this book is all about the relationship a nanny has with her employers, the interaction with the mom and the bond that can develop between a mom and a nanny and how a nanny’s role can change within the family with time and circumstances.
When I started reading this book, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that I knew how it was going to end but I was wrong and this book did not disappoint.
This is a book that will definitely appeal to nannies but I think it can appeal to a wider audience because it is a great storyline and Charlotte is a character that you will identify with and root for all the way to the end.
As I tried to write this review, I struggled a little with remembering that this is a not a nanny training manual that teaches the dos and don’ts of being a good nanny, it is a story that will touch the heart of any nanny or parent with a nanny.
I can always tell that I have read a great book when days after the last page has been read, my mind wanders back to the story and I find myself thinking…

” I wonder what Charlotte is doing now?”

There is really only one negative thing I have to say about this book, and I say it mostly because anyone who knows me, would know that I wouldn’t let it go without saying something.
Charlotte is truly a nanny in every sense of the word. She is educated, experienced, smart, and understands the dynamics of doing her job and doing it well. All through the book she refers to herself as a babysitter. I don’t think that calling herself a nanny would have made any kind of difference in the storyline but I think the things she did were over and above the call of duty for “just a babysitter”

This is a really good book. I am certain you will like it, and identify with so many things in it and I hope you will read it! I can’t really get into the nitty gritty of why I connected so much with this book without giving away the storyline but once you read it I think you will understand that this book covers a wide range of issues and emotions unique to those of us who love and care for other people’s children. I hope other people who read it will have new insight into the important work we all do….no matter what we consider our job title to be.
Glenda

I will be giving away a copy of the book on my Facebook page but if you are not on Facebook, you can email me at nannytransitions(at)gmail(dot)com and I will gladly put your name into the drawing for the book.

There are all kinds of transitions

We all go through Transitions.
Whether they are transitions in our jobs, or transitions in our lives, transition is a part of our day to day existence.
When we think about transitions we think about "new beginnings" but the fact of the matter is that the first part of all transitions is an ending.
In his book "TRANSITIONS: Making sense of life's changes" William Bridges says that endings are the first phase of transition. The second phase is a time of lostness and emptiness until life becomes patterned with a direction again and the third phase is beginning anew.
Transitions often involve relationships but they can also include new places, new beliefs, new challenges or goals.
If you go on a diet, you change your mindset about how you look at food, how you work food into your day, making time for excercise and making healthy choices.
If you move to a new home, you change where you keep your clothes, how they are organized, where they are stored, the route you take to work, the time it takes you to get to work.
When your baby becomes mobile, you change the way your house is arranged, you babyproof, you have to be more cautious of doors and stairs and be sure they are closed and gated.
So transition is a part of our life everyday.
We will be discussing transitions from all aspects of life and our jobs.
If you have a transition you want to write about, share with us, or want me to blog about, please contact me.

It all starts with communication

I always say that my 24 years as a professional nanny have taught me a lot about being happy in my marriage. All good relationships thrive on good communication.
Communication is the foundation for a gentle transition so I want to share with you my Communication Article.

Employer/ Employee Communication by Glenda Propst

Good relationships must have a foundation. Communication is the foundation of a good employer/employee relationship. Communication begins with the first interview, and is an ongoing process between the nanny and the parents.

During the interview, expectations of both parties need to be clearly defined and understood.

¨ Guidelines regarding discipline must be established and agreed upon in the beginning, and they need to be refined and adjusted as the need arises.

¨ Consistency is crucial.

¨ Children need to know they can take you at your word.

¨ Children need limits. it is important for the nanny and the parents to present a united front. This means that if one of the parents has a problem with the way the nanny is disciplining, they will discuss it in private, not in front of the children.

Communication must be implemented into the daily schedule.

Some ways to do this :

¨ Notes

¨ Journals,

¨ Conversation,

¨ Phone calls throughout the day.

¨ Short talks (come 10 minutes early, stay IO minutes late)

¨ Dinner away from the house without the children (this is relaxing, non-threatening, neutral territory.

¨ Family meetings

Things to Remember:

¨ As nannies especially when we live in, we have a tendency to take everything personally.

¨ Try not take everything personally. Sometimes your employer is in a bad mood because he/she ( or they both) had a bad day, not because of something you did or did not do.

¨ Sometimes parents don't even realize that what they are doing is upsetting us.

¨ Don't assume your employer can read your mind.

¨ Say the words.

¨ Learn to stand up for yourself.

¨ When you finally have the opportunity to sit and talk to the parents about a concern or a problem, here are some suggestions for making the most of the opportunity.

¨ Be Prepared

¨ Learn to distinguish between what is important what is not important.

¨ Take time to prepare an agenda of what you want to talk about.

¨ Under each item make a list of the points you want to make.

¨ If you write it down, you will not forget anything.

¨ The other advantage to writing things down is that it sends a very clear message to your employers that his was important to you and you prepared for it.

¨ Try to balance the negative with the positive.

¨ Try to create win/win resolutions.

¨ If you present a problem, offer some solutions.

¨ Do not place blame.

¨ Keep in mind that if you have a concern or a problem it is not going to go away. You must learn to deal with it like an adult.( isn't that one of the very important character traits you are trying to teach your charges?)

If you have a difficult time learning how to communicate effectively, take an assertiveness training class. It will be worth the time and money and it will benefit you in every area of your life for years to come