Touched by a Nanny Kim Dillon

Submitted by Donna Robinson

Touched by Kim Dillon

In 2001 I became the traveling nanny.  I had no idea what I was doing--just an idea. I found the INA annual conference for 2002 and living in Florida, I decided to attend.  Sasha of Nannies and More called and asked if I would co-workshop with Kim Dillon on Alternative Careers for Nannies.  I was pretty scared as only in business for 6 months but figured I would just follow Kim’s lead!  It seems my quiet shy Kim was expecting same of me.  She was one of the first of her kind to take newborn care on the road and became my mentor.

She did more than encourage as she gave me jobs when she had to leave and they still needed someone.  It was terrifying to follow a nanny everyone loved!  She encouraged me to believe in myself and she was always a phone call away if I needed advice.  After the job, she would call me with feedback from the clients.  She never failed to make me feel good about myself.  Through the years she was my best cheerleader and to this day she watches over me and tries to help if I need work.

Fourteen years of friendship would be enough to qualify for Touched by a Nanny. But in 2010 she gave love a new meaning.  We had lost our son to cancer and we were just trying to survive emotionally.  You know that "face" you put on for the world?  Kim looked right past that and into my soul.  She was busy and didn't often have time off but she made a 3 day weekend possible to travel from Houston to Austin to see us.  I didn't feel I could handle a visitor but Kim pretended not to hear and came to help us heal.  I consider that the turning point of surviving grief.  She held me, let me cry and then would say “we need to go get some barbeque" and forced Jim and I to go out.  She would even make us smile at a time when laughter was not possible.  Her last day she pulled me aside and said "we need to take Jim to a movie.  We will let him pick one of those action movies.”  She told him we were all going to the movies as a treat from her.    She would not let us pay.  By the time we said goodbye, I felt like a tiny chip of pain had been erased.  Jim is not easily touched but as he held me that day, he said “you have a great friend.  She didn't have to do that..”

I was not just Touched by a Nanny, I was Healed by the Touch of a Nanny.  I love you Miss Kim!

Touched by a Nanny: Stephanie Felzenberg

Submission by Cindy Wilkinson

     A nanny’s professional life can have challenges that are unique to our particular kind of work.  The isolation that comes along with working in a private home, rather than in a traditional workplace, is one of those special challenges.  Which leads me to the important work of Stephanie Felzenberg.

     In 1993, Stephanie began her journey as a professional nanny.  With her home base in Montclair, NJ, she has served many families in that region, caring for her charges for the past two decades. Stephanie also saw the need for connecting nannies to one another.  She understood our need for sharing, not only new information and educational ideas with one another, but also tackling some of the more difficult aspects of this profession. 

     So, in 2001, Be The Best Nanny Newsletter was born.  It was a publication she created for nannies, enabling them to share, learn, and network with one another.  And now, in the age of the internet, Be The Best Nanny has evolved into a popular blog.  You can also find Be The Best Nanny on Facebook as well, where she has over 4,000 likes.  Her mission for continually finding new topics for discussion, and added guest writers contributing to the education of nannies, has had an extraordinary impact on our industry!

     Stephanie and I have been friends for most of her nanny career.  We have been roommates at both International Nanny Association and Nannypalooza conferences.   I truly admire her for the tremendous work she has done, both as a nanny and as an editor/blogger.  But, I find her passion for fostering the camaraderie of nannies as equally important. 

     While I was vacationing in the New York area several years ago, Stephanie played the perfect host for me during the first days of my trip.  She had planned a surprise excursion into the theater district for me, where we saw a performance of Mary Poppins on Broadway.  The following day, we met up with nanny friends from as far away as Westport, CT for a cruise around the city. 

     Stephanie’s role as a mentor expands beyond the written page and into the lives of those who know her personally.  Her efforts to provide nannies with a stronger voice and a connection to others in our profession, has benefited us all greatly.  And, this contribution, which she has made, and is still making daily, will affect the lives of countless nannies for the better ! 

    If you have a nanny you would like to write about please email nannytransitions(at)gmail(dot)com

Touched by a Nanny: Clelie Bourne

Submission by Cindy Wilkinson

     Clelie Bourne is a long-time newborn care specialist, one of the pioneers in this area of the nanny profession.   She has cared for newborns, often those from multiple births, for over two decades.

     As with most of my nanny friends and colleagues, I first met Clelie at a nanny conference.  Being that she is from the state of Kentucky, I was instantly drawn to her warmth and openness; it’s a part of her southern charm that defines her no-nonsense, yet caring personality.

     Over the years, Clelie has become one of my most influential mentors.  During a past job search of mine, I was considering a move to her home base of Lexington, KY.  Via a couple of phone calls, she shared with me everything I was curious about in her neck of the woods, painting an elaborate picture for me of that part of the country.  

     Clelie and I have always had a “just call me with any question” kind of relationship.  Whether it was a specific question about infant care or my need for a listening ear to work through a more complex issue, she has always served me as a most trusted sounding board.  I appreciate her direct and honest approach. Sometimes I have found her guiding me to a conclusion I have known in my heart all along, as only a close friend and someone who truly knows you well can do. 

     I will end these accolades of my friend Clelie with one of my more memorable International Nanny Association Conference stories.  Years ago, I suddenly found myself homeless at our hotel in Dallas.  My INA conference roommate had greeted me at our door that her husband would soon be arriving to share our hotel room with her… a last minute decision.  As I wandered the halls of the hotel at 11:00 PM, teary eyed and with suitcases in hand, I came across Clelie and her roommates, Janine Gardner and MaryAnn Meddish.  Without any hesitation, they reassured me that they could make room for me in their room and took me in.  My problem was quickly solved by this act of generosity and TLC, an act I have always greatly appreciated and never forgotten.  We have often laughed at the various scenarios I might have faced, had they not rescued me that night!

     Our mentors will serve us in many different ways.  Clelie Bourne has provided me a trusted confidante.  She is someone who I can bounce off new ideas and always get an honest response; she is someone who will keep any of my concerns in strictest confidence.   And, above all else, she is a most loyal friend.   These are the mentors who will impact our lives the most: those who provide us with wisdom, support, and lasting friendships.  Thank-you Clelie!

If you know a nanny that you would like to see featured here please email
nannytransitions (at)g(mail)dot(com)

Touched by a Nanny: Mallette Parry, Julie Martinson,Monica Schoenborn, Connie Wegner

TOUCHED BY A NANNY

(Submission from Becky Kavanagh)

Dedicated, nurturing and caring are attributes of nannies but nannies who reach out to their peers touching them with care, concern and tenderness demonstrates a love of the profession beyond the norm. Often they are unnoticed except by those that receive the gift they offer. Sometimes the gift is in the form of mentorship, other times it someone to listen and still other times it is someone who offers sage advice. They are givers to the core, extending their help into their local community and beyond.

Four women who I know come immediately to mind when I think of this type of individual. Although they each are leaders they are not seekers of notoriety or the spotlight. Since that’s the case I would like to shine some light on them. They have all contributed to the growth and maintenance of the local nanny group along with giving of their time to the larger community.

Julie Martinson, Mallette Parry, Monica Schoenborn and Connie Wegner are to be commended for their work in the local nanny industry. Julie and Mallette are two of the three founders of Twin Cities Professional Nannies (TCPN). Monica and Connie are long time members. All have served or are serving as leaders of the organization. I commend them for their dedication to strengthening the profession. Each of them has also given their time and talent to the larger community. But it is in taking the time to council and listen to fellow nannies where their true gifts lie. To share what you know so that others can grow is a gift beyond measure. These women do so quietly, confidentially and with wisdom. To be touched by these nannies is a gift unparalleled.

If there is a nanny you would you like to write about please email me
Nannytransitions(at)g(mail)dot(com)

Nanny Transitions presents "Touched by a Nanny"

If you are a nanny I don’t have to tell you that as much as our jobs are fun, they are also challenging and isolating at times.
When you are going through a challenging time on your job you need someone to vent to that truly understands.
We’ve all been through job challenges, and even life challenges and have experienced someone who stepped up and offered a word of advice or a listening ear that made all the difference in helping us get through.
I know that for me….there are countless nannies who have made a difference in my life….
We read about the nannies who win awards, the nannies who write blogs, the nannies who serve on boards and the nannies who organize events but what about the nannies who simply do ordinary things in extraordinary ways every day of their lives.
I have been mulling this project over in my mind for a while now and I decided to ask the nannies whose names you recognize to write about nannies whose names you might not recognize.
I did some brainstorming with my dear friend Becky Kavanagh and she helped me come up with the perfect name for this project. It will run on Tuesdays starting tomorrow on the Nanny Transitions Blog and will be called
“Touched by a Nanny”

It will shine a light on nannies who are quietly making a difference.

If you would like to write about a nanny who touched your life……I would love to hear from you.
Email me at nannytransitions@gmail.com

How to Know if You Are a Pre Griever, or a Post Griever and Why it Matters

I love to hear from people on my facebook page or on the blog page. It's especially exciting when someone outside of the nanny community finds the page and shares information with me that can be applicable to nannies in transition.
Sarah E Smith shared this post with me today and I thought it was really insightful regarding nannies in transition and how we all grieve differently.
I hope you will follow the link and read the post and then take some time to explore her blog that she does with a group of wise and wonderful women who are serving overseas.

It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself, but the most inconvenient one, too. –H.W. Shaw

The two-sided coin for relationships when you live overseas is you get to meet a lot of wonderful people but you find they rotate in and out of your life more so than the average person living in your home country.

For the most part I have been the one staying with others going. Years ago, I was preparing to return to the States for a three year stint. Coincidentally, my dear friends were doing the exact same thing, departing for three years.  Having someone going down such a parallel path was a rarity and provided an interesting and unintended “emotional” laboratory as my friend Anne and I reacted so differently to the upcoming return to the US.

Please follow this link to Velvet Ashes and read the rest of this article and while you are there, look around and explore a little bit....and don't forget to leave a comment!

When Your Employers Face a Crisis by Deborah Brown

Even the most seasoned nanny can be at a loss for what to do when her nanny family is in crisis.
My dear friend and colleague Deborah Brown shares practical and helpful advice that can be applied to lots of different situations.

When Your Employers Face a Crisis

Deborah Brown

As a nanny, you are present when your employers celebrate and when they mourn. When our employers face a crisis, whether it is the death of a family member, a divorce, or the loss of a pregnancy, we want to help. But often, we are not sure how we can best show our love and support during the most difficult times “our families” go through.
In my opinion and experience, a nanny's relationship with her employers gives her clues as to how to help after a loss. If a family is generally very private, they may have no wish to share more than basic info with their nanny. A more open family may be more likely to tell nanny exactly what is happening, and ask for her help as needed.
There are several things a nanny can do regardless of her level of emotional intimacy with the family. First and foremost, find out what language is being used to tell the existing children about the loss, and stick to that script regardless of personal beliefs. Ask if parents want children's questions directed to them, or if you are free to answer based on the script you have been given.
Second, do all you can to keep life as routine and normal as possible for the children. There may be a lot of people in and out, a lot of bereavement gifts, a lot of emotional upheaval going on all around the kids, and having nanny be their steady support is essential.
Third, ask what you can do when it comes to visitors, gifts, and other issues that pop up. Does your family want you to screen visitors, or do they want to see anyone who comes by? Do they want to be the ones to answer the door for gift deliveries, or do they want you to handle that when possible? Tell them you are happy to handle whatever they would like you to handle, and follow their lead.
Fourth, ask what they want you to say to your nanny circle and to their neighbors, then follow their wishes. If a crisis is changing the family structure, or if a pregnancy loss means multiple people will be asking you how the pregnancy is going, have a simple answer ready to share, and then direct the people asking for further information to your employers. Be discreet, and if anyone continues to press you for information, a simple, "I'm sorry, but I can't really speak to that issue. If you need to know about XYZ, you'll have to ask my employers. I know you understand!" tends to stop persistent questioners in their tracks.
And finally, don’t forget to take care of yourself during times like these. Find someone who will listen when you want to talk about what is happening, and find ways to practice self-care, whether that means a massage, a manicure, additional time at the gym, or carving out time to relax during the most hectic weeks.
Nannies want to take care of those we know and care for, and when our employers suffer a loss, that instinct kicks in full speed. The best thing to do is remember that your role is to offer support as needed and requested, and to act according to established family/nanny dynamics. You can respect privacy while offering help and support, but you don't want to cross any boundaries that cannot be put back into place.


About the Author: Deborah has worked as a nanny in the Atlanta area since 1993. She most enjoys working with new parents, and often stays with families until all of the children have started to attend school. Deborah is also the Executive Director of Metro Atlanta Nannies, a social and educational support group established in 2004 that is open to all local nannies. Find out more information about Metro Atlanta Nannies at http://metroatlantanannies.webs.com/, or by searching for them on Facebook.