INA ESSAY :My Advice to a New Nanny

INA Essay Submission: By Deirdre Bellows

My Advice to a New Nanny

I think the most important thing for anyone thinking of becoming a nanny is that you know yourself and that you stay true to yourself.  You don’t become a nanny to make money or to gain fame.  If you come into this career thinking that you’ll make a lot of money being a “babysitter” or that you’ll become friends with famous people,  you will burn out fast.  You become a nanny because you have a natural love for children and because you know the value of raising a compassionate and confident child.  You have to be able to give selflessly for the best of the child.  You need to be alright with small achievements and, possibly, no recognition.  Smiles, hugs and a child’s success have to be enough of a reward for you.

The other aspect of knowing yourself and staying true to yourself is that this will be of immense help to you in finding the right job.  For me, I need to work for a family who sees me as an integral part of their family.  We need to work together as a team and they need to respect and appreciate my experience and expertise.  I can be a live-out or a live-in nanny, but I need my own space.  I could have accepted higher paying jobs, but I wasn’t willing to compromise my basic needs in order to make more money.  I know that I can’t share a bedroom with my charge(s).  And, I know that I’m not very good at being seen and not heard.  You need to know yourself well enough to know what you can and cannot compromise on to be the best nanny that you can be.

Being a career, professional nanny has definitely helped me to know myself better.  I take this self-knowledge into every interview to insure that I don’t compromise in areas that are important to me.  This has made finding the perfect fitting job much easier.  In many ways finding the perfect job for you is like finding the perfect person to share your life with.  There are things that you are and are not willing to compromise on in a relationship.  You don’t want to lose yourself in a relationship and  you don’t want to lose yourself in your job.  Being in a bad job is like being in a bad marriage.  Both are very difficult to get out of and both can eat away at your confidence and your sense of self. 

Know yourself so that you never lose yourself and so that you can be your best for a child who deserves nothing less.

INA Essay Submission

Here is another one of the wonderful essays that was submitted by Heather McKinley for the INA Scholarship.

As a nanny we don’t know how long our job is going to last.  Our personal lives – and those of the family we work for – can change very quickly.  When I took a nanny position in late 2009, I thought I would be with the family for many years. They were planning on expanding their family and told me they wanted to keep me until all the kids were in school.  On my birthday in 2011 my family announced the coming arrival of their 3^rd child.  My joy at having a new baby to care for quickly turned to fear, when the Mother told me she may become a stay-at-home mom.  I was crushed, but knew I had till November to find out what my future held.

                By the end of June the family had decided they were building a new house, and the Mother was going to become a stay-at-home mom in August.  I was scared; I only had a month to find a job and school was approaching with prospects dwindling.  I had already been looking in the job market, but opportunities had not come easily because I was not available until August.

                With August fast approaching I turned to my local Nanny group(CincyNanny) for help in trying to find a new position.  I had several interviews with the help of this group, but nothing had panned out.  With two weeks until I would be saying goodbye to the boys I had fallen in love with, I received a job offer.  But there was a catch - they needed me to start immediately.  I didn’t feel it was fair to my current family since I already had agreed on a date to leave.  I spoke to the head of my local nanny group about the best way to approach this, since it was my only offer (and I couldn’t afford to go long without having a job.)  She helped me figure out how to explain my situation and let them know if they truly wanted me they would need to figure out two weeks of childcare. 

                I received a phone call a week later thanking me, and they informed me that they went with another candidate.  They told me that they really respected my commitment to my current family, and had it not been for the situation they were in they would have hired me.  They also said they would hold onto my name in case anyone they knew was looking for a nanny.  Within the week I received an email from them asking if another family could contact me and set up an interview.  Four days later I had the job where I am still happily employed.

                I am grateful for the power of networking and the advice of my “co-workers”. Had it not been for their encouragement, advice, and connections, I am not sure if I would have found a job and been able to continue my career as a nanny. I am truly blessed.

Nanny Transitions Scholarship Recipient

We had 6 wonderful entries in the Nanny Transitions Essay Scholarship. They were all well written and heartfelt. It was very difficult to make a decision. In the end , Carli Lintenmuth of Michigan was the recipient of the INA Scholarship and we look forward to meeting her in Louisville in April. This will be Carli's first time to attend INA.

Today I will be sharing Carli's essay with you but over the course of the next couple weeks I will share some of the other essays as well.

Sixteen years ago, when I was just beginning my career as a professional nanny, I had a chance meeting with a woman who is a very dear friend to this day. She shared with me all that she had learned over the course of her career. Knowing that nothing is more valuable than the wisdom one nanny can share with another, for the Nanny Transitions essay, I’ve chosen to write about a few of the ways I would advise a new nanny. 

     First, a professional nanny is an educated nanny. Beyond the basics of refreshing our First Aid and CPR skills, we always need to be evolving to meet the needs of our charges. As they mature, we need to be ready with new challenges to stimulate their physical, mental, and emotional growth. Many libraries offer workshops, there are often online webinars, and even reading books and discussing topics with other nannies will help you gain knowledge.

     Next, it's important to find other nannies. No one but another nanny will understand the extent of your job and the closeness of being a member of someone else's family. There will be times when you need a safe place to vent, and times when you need help with delicate situations. While there are many avenues for advice about children, no one but another nanny will be able to help you with the relationship nuances between a nanny and her employers. You should seek out any local nanny groups, and if there isn't one, start your own! You should also seek out nannies on a national level to deepen your perspective. National organizations such as INA, or Facebook groups such as Worldwide Nannies and Nanny Care Tribe will put you in touch with nannies from all over the world.  

     Last but not least, every professional nanny needs a signed work agreement in place before she begins any position. More important than the piece of paper you sign, is the time spent sitting down with your new employers discussing the details of your position. There is much more to being a nanny than rocking a baby all day. It’s critical for you to know exactly what is expected of you, and it’s just as critical for your employers to know what you expect of them. As time passes, often the lines of professionalism blur into friendship with your employers. Having a signed work agreement lessens the discomfort of needing to address an issue with them in a professional manor.

     I can honestly say that meeting Susan Schmidt was a life-changing event for me. What started as a babysitting job has blossomed a 16-year (and counting!) career. I know firsthand the importance of being taken under someone’s wing, and now as the more seasoned nanny myself, its time for me to step out of my comfort zone and mentor others as Susan was a mentor to me. 

INA Scholarship Recipient

The recipient of the Nanny Transitions INA Scholarship is Carli Lintemuth

I want to thank each of you who applied for the scholarship.
You submitted some beautiful essays and this was not an easy decision. I hope that I still get to see you at INA in April.

Glenda

Nanny Transitions INA Conference Scholarhip

As a seasoned nanny I believe that it is important for me to give back to an industry that has been so instrumental in my professional life. This is why Nanny Transitions makes an effort to support opportunities for nannies to broaden their professional horizons.
Through scholarships, donations and sponsorships for National Nanny Training Day, Nannypalooza and INA, it is my goal to offer nannies  the chance to participate in these events.

Here are the guidelines for the Nanny Transitions INA Conference Scholarship.

NANNY TRANSITIONS INA CONFERENCE SCHOLARSHIP 

In order to qualify for the Nanny Transitions INA Conference Scholarship, you must meet the following qualifications.

·                     You must be currently working as a nanny at least 24 hours a week.

·                     You must be a member of INA as of February 16, 2013.

By submitting this essay you are committing to attend the 2013 INA Annual Conference.

INA Board of Directors, conference speakers and workshop presenters, conference sponsors who receive complimentary registration, the 2012 and 2013 INA Nanny of the Year award recipients are not eligible for this prize.

To Apply

Submit an essay on one of the following three topics:

1.     My Advice to a New Nanny

2.     What My Experience as a Professional Nanny Has Taught Me About Life

3.     How My Professional Nanny Connections Helped Me Through a Difficult Time in My Career

·         Your essay must be between 300-500 words.

·         Do not include information in your essay that would identify you, such as the name of your city. We would like to keep the submissions as anonymous as possible.

·         Essay must be submitted between Friday February 1 and Saturday February 16, 2013 11:59pm EST.

·         Use spell check and count your words. Recipient will be chosen by content and presentation of essay.

·         Award recipient will be notified via phone and email on Monday, February 18, 2013.

Essay submissions should be sent to: Nannytransitions@gmail.com

The INA Annual Conference is April 12-15. The conference format is different this year. The specialty workshops start on Friday afternoon and the welcome reception is Friday evening. Please view the conference agenda.

By submitting this essay you are committing to attending the 2013 INA Conference.

You understand that you are responsible for your transportation to and from the conference, your hotel room and any other expenses incurred at the 2013 INA Conference.

You have discussed this with your employers and they have agreed to give you the time off to attend the conference.

This scholarship is sponsored by Nanny Transitions and funded by Glenda Propst.

What a Nanny Would like on her Last Day With Your Family

by Glenda Propst
(with help from  Keyanna, Kimberly Ann, Laura,and  Tara)

In a perfect world nanny jobs would last forever. A family would hire you when their children were born and would pay any amount of money to keep you until their children were grown.
In a perfect world all of our paychecks would be direct deposit. Every family would use a nanny tax company so that we never have to worry that our taxes are not being paid.
In a perfect world, even if that job ended, there would be a relationship that continued with you and the child for the rest of your lives.
In a perfect world if and when that job did end your employers would sit down with you, tell you how much they appreciated all that you did for their family, give you a glowing letter of recommendation and send you out the door with a sentimental and thoughtful gift to commemorate your years of working with them, and maybe even a nice cash bonus “just because”.
Sounds sort of like a fairy tale, doesn’t it?
As professional nannies there are some things that we know are guaranteed.
Most nanny jobs last 2-7 years, depending on whether or not there is more than one child in the family.
When we work for dual career families and one or both of them land their dream job it’s usually in another state and most of the time the nanny does not get to move with the family.
If a family begins to have financial issues we are the first thing to go.
We fall in love with the children in our care. We know that they are not our own. We know that they have parents that love them. We know that we are part of a parenting team, but we can not change their diapers, prepare their meals, clean their clothes, kiss their boo boos,and cheer them on through each developmental stage of their life, without falling in love with them.
Our job is demanding, unpredictable and often emotional.
Parents often wonder what they should do for their nanny who is leaving, or nannies who are leaving a family wonder what they should do with the children in their care on their last day.
I asked nannies who are in the process of leaving their job what their ideal last day would be like and to share with us what they wish their employers understood about their leaving. Here are some of their responses:

I would like for my last day to be all about spending time with the children. I would like a day stress free of errands and laundry and just time to focus on time with the children and making a few great memories.
I would like for my employers to look me in the eye, and say goodbye and let me know how much they appreciated me.
I would like to hear them say the words “We are really going to miss you!”
I would like the opportunity to tell them “Thank You!” for sharing your children with me, allowing me the opportunity to do what I love, the job that I am MEANT to do” Love and Care for children.

I wish the parents would talk about it with me instead of acting like it isn’t happening.
I’d like for them to ask me how my job hunt is going. Remind me that it’s not personal so that it doesn’t feel so personal.
I want the parents to reassure me that I will still be able to be a part of their children’s lives.
I wish they realized how much I love their children and the contribution I have made to their lives.
I would love a sappy heartfelt card expressing their appreciation for what I have given to their family.
I want my employers to realize that this is more than just a job for me, being part of their lives was a huge part of my life.
I wish my employers understood that my relationship with their children is not the same as theirs. Their children are losing an important person in their lives.  As a nanny, I can never replace a parent (nor would I ever want to) but honor and respect that I was important to their child so that we can all help each other through this.
Please don’t shut me out of your life. If your children ask about me, let them talk to me. Let me see them, let me have visits with them. While my pain is so fresh, please include me in their lives. You might miss my help, but they miss what I gave to them on a daily basis.
If I choose to leave, don’t take it as personal insult.
Please don’t use your child to get back at me because in the end, the person who gets hurt the most isn’t me, it’s your child.
Honor the relationship I have built with your child.
Validate the contribution that I have made to your life and to lives of your children.
Talk to me about what our relationship will be like after I leave your employment. Will I be allowed to see the children? Will you ask me to take care of the kids on weekends sometimes? Will our relationship change? Or will it simply end?
If you are a nanny “in transition” you probably echo these sentiments. If you are a parent who is losing a nanny, I hope that this article helps answer some of your questions about your nanny’s last days with your family.

I want to thank a very special group of women who are sharing the ups and downs of this loss and supporting each other throughout their transition. Special thanks to Keyanna, Kimberly Ann, Laura,and  Tara for your contributions to this article. If you are a nanny in transition and need support, email Nannytransitions(at)Gmail(dot)com

How Do You Say Adieux in Nanny?

One way to deal with the emotions of leaving a family is to put your thoughts and feelings on paper. For those of you who don't enjoy writing I wanted to share with you another beautiful blog post about saying goodbye.If you are a nanny in transition that needs support, we have a wonderful group of nannies in transition that support each other through this process. If you are a nanny in transition, email nannytransitions(at)gmail(dot)come for more information.

Thank you Keyanna for sharing your heart with us today.

How Do You Say Adieux in Nanny?by Keyanna

For over a month I have been planning to post a blog about how I said goodbye to 4 of the most important people in my world. Scott & Kara- my employers and their amazing sons Syler & Jonah.As it turns out we survived the most emotional week together and no one even had to say goodbye!Kara and I share an affinity for love of a plan, organization, and the people that make these things possible in our collective world. Colonial Moving Van Lines is NOT on the list of those people. To make a very long, stressful, ridiculous story short- this moving company never showed up to move my Bugs and their parents across the country.Yes. You read that right. They just never arrived to pack, load, and ship the belongings of 4 people that paid them to do just that.I'm not good at finding the silver lining in things. I'm just too logical for that. I really need the lining to be pink if it's going to grab my attention... But this time around it found me.The original plan had the boys landing in California right about now to meet up with their Mom and Dad. The amended plan has all 4 of them still here in Columbia and this means that I get 5 extra days to figure out how to say goodbye. I will be hanging out with the Bugs a little bit each day next week while also picking up substantial part-time hours at GAP. (Which has always been my plan until I start FT with my new charges... They're infant twins and you will meet them later!)I have been trying to prepare myself to somehow part ways with the two little guys that I spend at least 45 hours a week with. We are the best of friends, if not by choice then by circumstance; although I like to think that given the option of Nannies the boys would pick me!As of late Jonah has not been pleased to see me at 8 AM, mostly because I always take his binky away and in his eyes, that's like high treason or something. I comforted myself by saying that maybe our separation would be easier with his being resistant to me recently, but by the afternoon he was snuggling and giving hugs and kisses- so that theory went out the window!So... how does a Nanny say goodbye?

Go to Keyanna's Blog to read the rest of her story.